Sunday, July 24, 2011

Is Balance Ever Easy To Achieve?

My balance is off. With one arm strapped to my body, I swerve and maneuver in my efforts to achieve some kind of balance. Carry too much in one hand, and boom, I run into the wall. The other day I was getting into my car and misjudged the door opening and I now have a nice bruise on my shoulder as proof of my misjudgement. But what does misperception have to do with being off-balance? Everything when your one hand holds your purse, keys, phone and tip.

My fear of flying is not in balance, but I am coming to terms with that and trying desperately to come to some understanding so my fears will level out. I still email my friend in hopes that he will email me back and tell me that all is fine, and many times he does. Sometimes he'll even call when he can tell that I'm past desperate. My plan to achieve some semblance of balance and inner peace while I'm winging my way to wherever in a deathtrap 30,000 feet above the ground, is to chat it up with the flight attendants and the pilot as I'm entering the plane. Smooth flight? And since 98.5% of the time they say yes, I am starting to relax a little and think maybe flying is not that bad. Then I take my window seat in Row 4, pull out my book, and wait. Almost calmly...

Balance in the pool is another thing. Try running in 3-3/4 feet of water and see what happens. I slip, I slide, I go under. I am in constant motion forward, while the water does its best to push me from side to side. But like in real life, I fight the constant distractions and cross-currents and focus on my end-goal. And, like in real life, I achieve my goals, but not without some miss-steps and occasionally going under for a brief second.

Next month I should be able to achieve full-balance again, but even my fears about that are unbalanced. Maybe that's my lot in life--to have that unbalanced view. Like my photos, my own perspective on life. Or maybe I'll gain full balance and only my photos will continue askew...

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